Friday, August 19, 2011

I do...naaat...

This past week had lots of highlights.  I should start with our Neighbourhood Watch update.

“… there is a very strong chance that the toads will be on the move tomorrow evening.  
A contingent of over 20 males moved (what kind of moves?  Hip hop? Jazz?) in the rain last Thursday, ….  Some males have been heard calling (yo baby, kssk ksssk, you lookin’ for a good time?) from the ponds on the Clovelly Country club.  It is highly likely that the females will be on the march (hup two three four, keep it up two three four?) tomorrow … in search of partners and ponds (you call that a pond?  I call it a puddle!)….If you see a Toad on the Road please stop (I was gonna do it while my vehicle was moving? )and move it to the grass verge in the direction in which it was going (what if it’s facing the road?). If you see a lot of Toad activity (Activity? Toad tennis? Toad skating? Toad jogging?) please call… “

We did actually find one in our road.  He looked very cocky.  I’ll bet he got lucky…

Another highlight was the discovery that someone has published a book that is close to my heart…

Irreverent parenting, you godda to love it!
Then yesterday, I was lucky enough to be told I had nice buns. By a very old, homeless man who was most certainly drunk.  I know I should take it as a compliment, but I’m just not sure what kind of standards a drunk, homeless person has. At least he didn’t say that I had a nice bakery. Ouch.

Speaking of buns, I heard on Gareth Cliff’s show that Kim Kardashian is getting married this weekend. Apparently the wedding is costing around $10 million. That’s not shameful in the least, right? What with the horn of Africa starving and all. Perhaps they’re flying all their guests there. One person per jet? E! Channel will be airing the wedding (which Kim says will be bigger than Will and Kate’s) in a two part series.  Dear God, I can only hope it’s more interesting than their TV show because I know patches of lawn that live more entertaining lives than the Kardashians.

Which brings me to when Best-kisser and I surfed onto to E! Chanel (supposedly to entertain us), while we waited for our on-demand movie to load (blessed is the clever person who invented that). There was a True Hollywood Story on  - an oxymoron if ever there was. 

This particular THS was all about The Girls of the Playboy Mansion. HUH?!? A True Story about a reality show? I know, right.  Which one is lying? I thought the point behind a reality show was that it was real. Clearly not. 

After a whole 3 minutes of “true” story interviews, E! airs adverts of all the other reality shows that you can view there – sometimes INCLUDING the show that you are currently watching.  I have to wonder, is this for very stupid people who may have forgotten, in all of 5 seconds, which show they were watching? 

But hey, I’m all for some reality shows. Like Flying Wild Alaska.  Or the Deadliest Catch. Or Mark & Olly Living with the Tribes. You know, real people doing something useful with their lives.  Still, folk like Kimora Lee and the Kardashians do sometimes make us laugh.  Like when they say ‘I work really hard’. Um, at what exactly?

Shame on me, I shouldn’t mock the Kardashians. It’s hard to sound intelligent when you have a silver spoon dangling out of your mouth.

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