I missed last weeks blog because only the very best, highly trained, technically proficient cyclists manage to break two of their spokes just days before the magnum opus of cycling events and have to get their blue tractor of a MTB to the shop and still make time to test out the repairs before THE BIG DAY. Tess, the cycling shop owner who is an epic cyclist (really, she rides the Epic) always asks me tricky questions like “did you go over a pothole?” or “did you jump a pavement?” when I bring my bike in. I think she’s trying to be funny with me.
I probably should be writing about how wearing lycra in public humbles you. Or how some women manage to cycle with makeup on (yes, mascara and base). Or how the spirit of camaraderie swept me up on race day. But the main thing I have to comment on, is the choice of pre-race music.
Now I know that most sporty people can’t dance. Sorry, but it’s just one of those universal truths. Still, there’s no need to insult them further by playing heinous music. Of course I know that the thinking behind playing music before a sporting event isn’t in fact to teach step-bull-change and that it’s purpose is primarily to psych you up. Think this is a point that the DJ might have missed.
I’ve just finished reading Lewis Pugh’s book on his insane below zero swims in Norway and the North Pole etc. He talks about how he has a pre-swim playlist that is there solely to get him into the right headspace before taking the plunge. This is going to come as a shock, but Hokey Pokey is NOT on it.
And neither should it be on any playlist. And if you think that Hokey Pokey took the cake, let me run through some of the other tracks that were played on race day.
As I arrived they were kicking off with a very fetching remix of My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean. You didn’t know there was a remix? Ah well, now I guess that changes everything folks. You rush out and get that CD now, I’ll just bet they’re flying off the shelves.
The obvious choice after Hokey Pokey, is Simple Simon Says. Obviously. Plenty of clues regarding what dance moves you should be doing. And no amp-me-up-before-I-go-go playlist is complete without Agadoo (again with the fun moves). Of course the all time winner has to be Lily The Pink. I mean what other song could totally get me in the mood for cycling 109km!? I was so desperate to hear some good music that I actually started singing along when Achy Breaky Heart came on.
Perhaps the organizers were going for a carnival kind of atmosphere. You know, choosing familiar songs that everyone can sing along to. But seriously, I just don’t think that playing the Chicken Song will ever bring out the best in anyone. Cyclists or dancers.